Why Do We Homeschool?

We haven’t always homeschooled our children. In fact, we didn’t even start until my eldest son was entering the 10th grade. Our four biological children all attended public school until the fall of 2002. Looking back, I can say that it wasn’t any particular event or teacher or problem that caused us to make the change. Instead, it was a realization that a variety of issues that we were experiencing all had one common denominator- public school. In case you’re ready to quit reading and dismiss me completely, I’d like you know that I’m not going to get up on my bandwagon and take on the entire educational system. Rather, I’d like to share with you our experiences for your consideration.

I’ll be the first to tell you that homeschooling is not for everyone and requires real sacrifice and work on the part of the homeschooling parent. And of course, there is also a significant adjustment for the children if they are coming out of a public or private school setting.

When my younger sister first started homeschooling her children I really didn’t understand it at all. I said things to her like “I could never do that!” and “How do you know you’re teaching what you’re supposed to be at a certain grade level?” and “What about the subjects you didn’t do well in?” and “But you’re not a teacher!” and the question that every homeschooling Mom hears over and over, “But how will they learn socialization?” She didn’t seem to be concerned about any of these things and continued without my blessing. Imagine that.

Watching her with her children though, I started to see results. How was it that her children were so well behaved and so intelligent? And they certainly didn’t have any problems relating to each other, their peers or their parents. I remember playing ScatterGories at a family gathering when her second grader joined in. To play the game, you are given several categories and then a letter of the alphabet is selected and the timer begins. The object of the game is to come up with an item in each category beginning with the selected letter. You get points if your answer is unique from all the other players’ answers. Little Rosalie was a contender. When she gave “university” as an answer to one question (correctly spelled, I might add) I thought, “Have I gotten this whole homeschooling thing wrong?”

I started to evaluate our situation. My eldest son, Dustin, had just received another D in Language Arts and was going to scrape by again to the next level. Of course I wanted him to pass, but if he kept getting passed on to the next level, when was he ever going to really get it? Wouldn’t the material just keep getting more difficult? But if he was put back in Language Arts wouldn’t that bring a negative social stigma at a time when peers’ opinions mean so much?

Then there was the computer “incident”. Being like so many teenagers, Dustin liked video games and wanted to play them any time he could. His buddy had installed a game on the school computer and Dustin wanted to play it also. Dustin had always been a natural when it came to computers. He could take them apart and upgrade them and fix them and sort out hardware and software problems and generally do just about anything. So he goofed, big time. Sitting there at the school computer he simply bypassed the school security and made the game available to play on his computer. Of course, in the process he accidentally made all of his buddy’s files available to all of the students. It was wrong, and he knew it. And I absolutely don’t condone his behavior. However, he had no malicious intent and everyone knew it. But the computer teacher’s decision for appropriate punishment was to never allow him to touch a computer for the remainder of his entire High School years. He was only a Freshman at the time. So he sat in computer class at an old typewriter for the rest of the semester and that was that. Didn’t he have a gift that needed to be channeled and developed? Wasn’t that what school was about? What motivation did the teacher have to see my child’s natural talent redirected? For that matter, why was she even teaching? It certainly didn’t bring her any joy.

While we were contemplating this, David, then thirteen, moved to center stage. For most kids, thirteen is a transition time when they move from kid pursuits and kid thinking to teenage pursuits and teenage thinking, a difficult time, to say the least. With David, we started to have morality issues. He said, “But Mom, my friends all get to watch R-rated movies. Why can’t I?” He began to look to his peers for moral guidance rather than John and I. Do you remember what peer pressure was like when you were in junior high? I’m sure most of you will agree, teens can be very prejudicial and cruel and with all those hormones raging they often don’t act appropriately with members of the opposite sex. Could I lessen the effects of peer pressure by homeschooling him? He had always been a very bright student and excelled in many ways, but his grades were beginning to dip with all of the distractions. Could I take more of a central role in shaping his morality and keep my efforts from being undermined everyday he went to school?

So I began my research. I read anything I could find about homeschooling. I gradually started to understand why my sister hadn’t worried about my concerns, because she had the bigger picture. I learned that homeschooled children learn to socialize outside of the confines of their particular age group (or class) that they are in. They have friends of many ages and often relate to adults better than their public school peers. I learned I could seek out other homeschoolers, church youth groups, music programs, sports teams and other clubs and organizations to give them a wide variety of friends that I approved of.

One crucial point in this process was when I discovered a homeschool concept that focused more on learning how to learn and less on what to learn or when to learn it. Can anyone honestly say that their education has no gaps? Could I achieve an effective and inspiring education for my children that didn’t revolve around dry and uninspiring textbooks?

And what about our faith in God? When I read Deuteronomy 6:5-7:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (NIV)


I read this to mean that as parents, we are responsible for our children’s spiritual education. This is an awesome responsibility and one which we shouldn’t hand off lightly to the school system and the Sunday school teacher. Public schools deserve a lot of credit for their efforts to instill positive character traits, but doesn’t a child’s most effective character training stem directly from his or her parents and their daily environment? If environment has such an effect, how can you control it? Wouldn’t my children benefit tremendously by starting each school day with a Bible devotional and a prayer? Of course, we all know how likely that is to happen in the public school system.

I found that homeschoolers have established support groups all across the county, that curriculum choices are virtually limitless for homeschoolers, and that homeschoolers are consistently scoring higher on standardized tests and college entrance exams than their public school peers.

I kept thinking. What about the time one of my sons was bullied when he entered the school in the morning by kids several years older and had his head put in a toilet? What about the time one of my other children was dumped in a trash can in front of the school by a kid more than six years his elder? What about the little schoolmate of a friend’s child that brought a grenade to school when we were living in Savannah? What about Columbine High? What about my own experiences growing up where I was regularly bullied and hit by classmates? Are our public schools actually safe?

After having done our research, we were truly intrigued. We prayed about it, talked to several homeschoolers, discussed it with our children, and watched and waited for God’s response. In many ways, we recognized that he was pointing us in this direction. It was a frightening step to take, but we took it. My plan wasn’t complete as to how I would accomplish it, but we made the decision not to return to public school that fall and we have never looked back.

It has been five years since that momentous parenting decision. I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to home educate my children and the knowledge that we have had such a tremendous impact in shaping their future.

In closing, I challenge you to take stock of your situation from a broad perspective. Learn everything you can, talk to other homeschoolers, and don’t do what I did, when I initially dismissed homeschooling as a viable option without having investigated it fully or even attempting to understand it. Finally, and most importantly, pray about your decision and take your time to discover God’s will for your family.

© Sallie H. 2007, All rights reserved.